What Actually is Good Mental Health
posted 7th April 2025
Good Mental Health - What It Is and What It Is not
Our mental health is an essential part of our well-being, shaping how we think, feel, and behave. Just like physical health, mental health exists on a spectrum, and it fluctuates throughout our lives.
Achieving and maintaining good mental health doesn’t mean we feel happy all the time, because if that was the case, we would never appreciate happiness, it would be the norm. Also, we don’t want to avoid difficult emotions, we need to be able to recognise them, be curious about them and sometimes, just let them be.
Good mental health is more about developing self-awareness, resilience, and acceptance in the face of life's challenges. Interestingly, Buddhists talk about neutrality, often described as equanimity, so not allowing extremes in our emotions, but sitting with a balanced mindset; just allowing things to be and learning a degree of detachment and impartiality.
What Good Mental Health Is
There are several elements that contribute to emotional stability and overall well-being:
• Self-awareness and understanding: Being in touch with our own thoughts, emotions, and behaviours allows us to identify triggers, patterns, and strengths. This self-reflection encourages growth and empowers us to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. Self-awareness also helps us to better understand our emotional boundaries, making it easier to communicate our own needs and set limits.
By regularly reflecting on feelings and recognising patterns in thought processes, we can be more equipped to handle setbacks in a constructive way. Without self-awareness, we may continue patterns of behaviour that are unhelpful or harmful without realising they need to change. Identifying these patterns is the first step in creating positive change.
• Emotional acceptance and resilience: Normalising that feelings such as sadness, frustration, or anxiety are natural responses to life events and we all feel this way from time to time. Embracing emotional discomfort rather than avoiding it, means we can become better equipped to cope with stress and uncertainty and it can be powerful for us to remember that growth is where discomfort is.
• Acceptance of imperfection: Understanding that nobody is perfect and that mistakes are inevitable can help us foster a more self-compassionate approach and remembering that making mistakes is a natural process; if we did not make mistakes then we would never learn!
• A balanced perspective: Life is full of ups and downs, and no single moment defines an entire experience. When we can hold both positive and negative emotions without losing sight of our ability to cope and move forward then we are better able to deal with the uphill moments that inevitably happen. Continuing towards our goals, not matter what the circumstances can be a powerful way forward and can cultivate stronger resilience and self-belief.
• Connection and support: We are social beings, and nurturing meaningful relationships provides a sense of belonging and security. Seeking support from friends, family, or community groups during times of struggle can ease emotional burdens and provide fresh perspectives.
We all need support at times, and providing support gives us a real feel good factor, so it’s worth remembering when we are seeking support, that it gives the provider a lovely sense of giving back and feelings of worthiness, so we are not just simply taking we ask for help.
What Good Mental Health Is Not
These are common misconceptions about what mental well-being should look like:
• Constant happiness or positivity: Expecting to feel positive all the time is unrealistic, we all experience sadness, anger, or anxiety at times. The key lies in how these emotions are managed and processed.
• Suppressing or ignoring emotions: Avoiding emotions can lead to unresolved feelings resurfacing in other ways, such as irritability, fatigue, or withdrawal. We want to be able let ourselves feel discomfort without judgement; we are simply feeling this way at this time, but it will pass.
• Perfectionism and unrealistic standards: Striving to meet impossible expectations often results in burnout, anxiety, and feelings of failure. Good mental health involves perseverance, learning from mistakes, and understanding that self-worth isn’t defined by achievements.
• Avoiding difficult conversations or situations: While it may feel tempting to avoid conflict or uncomfortable discussions, these actions often lead to greater stress in the long term. Facing fears, setting boundaries, and addressing misunderstandings are important steps in us maintaining healthy relationships and mental balance.
• Being independent at all costs: While independence is valuable, true well-being includes recognising when help is needed and feeling safe enough to seek it. Asking for support demonstrates courage and self-awareness and is definitely not a sign of weakness.
The Power of Self-Awareness and Acceptance
• Self-awareness and acceptance are two of the most powerful tools in achieving good mental health. Self-awareness enables us to identify our strengths, weaknesses, and emotional triggers. By paying attention to thoughts and feelings without judgement, we can gain a better understanding of our reactions, learn how to manage them effectively and ultimately learn to respond and not react.
Without self-awareness, we may remain stuck in unhelpful thought patterns, behaviours, or relationships without recognising the need for change. When we realise that something is not working it is the first step towards improving our overall well-being.
• Acceptance is equally important - accepting our thoughts and emotions without resisting or denying them can reduce inner conflict. Rather than criticising ourselves for feeling anxious or overwhelmed, accepting these feelings allows us to acknowledge these emotions as valid and normal. This mindset prevents the tendency to suppress emotions and means we will feel less distressed and more able to cope.
• By combining self-awareness with acceptance, we can develop healthier coping mechanisms. Recognising when we feel anxious, like before a presentation and accepting that anxiety is a natural response can reduce its intensity, as opposed to focusing on eliminating the anxiety, which simply enhances it. Responding with self-compassion allows a more balanced approach, which can ease discomfort and help us learn that we are OK and we can cope.
Normalising the Ups and Downs
It is key to understand that we all experience highs and lows of life and no one is exempt from this. When we feel overwhelmed, sad, or anxious it does not mean we are failing or unwell, it just means we are human and that the flow of life is constantly changing.
Normalising these fluctuations can really help us to have a different perspective and even sometimes be able to embrace the difficulties (remember this is where the most growth is). We are all unique beings and handle things in different ways in accordance to our experiences and sometimes we need a bit of help to negative the those ups and downs and that’s OK.
Developing coping strategies, having a more flexible mind-set, practicing patience with yourself, and being open to change are all part of maintaining long-term mental balance.
Building and Nurturing Good Mental Health
Strategies that can support your well-being include:
• Practising mindfulness to increase self-awareness and manage stress.
• Engaging in regular physical activity to boost mood and energy levels.
• Connecting with others to foster meaningful relationships and reduce isolation.
• Prioritising rest and downtime to allow your mind and body to recharge.
• Developing healthy routines such as maintaining consistent sleep patterns, eating well, and setting realistic goals.
• Engaging in hobbies and creative outlets that provide joy and purpose.
• Seeking professional support when you feel overwhelmed or uncertain about how to cope.
Final Thoughts
Good mental health is not about avoiding struggles but learning to navigate them with resilience, compassion, and self-awareness. By embracing both our strengths and vulnerabilities, we can cultivate a balanced sense of well-being that empowers us to thrive—even when life feels challenging.
If you or someone you know is finding it difficult to manage mental health concerns, reaching out to a trusted friend, or mental health professional can be a powerful first step towards healing and growth. Remember we all can do we support from time to time.
If you are suffering from any of the symptoms described and would like to find out more about how cognitive behavioural therapy and/or EMDR can help you, please contact me on this link, call for an informal chat on 07398 453243 or email me at christina@cognitive-clarity.co.uk
